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crowd car wisdom

From the January 2023 issue car and driver.

You may have heard the term “crowdsourcing”. That’s when ideas are solicited from large crowds rather than a few cadres of so-called experts, often with surprising results.VolkswagenThink of his Tiguan. No, it’s not the car itself designed by highly trained engineers, its name is a mashup of ‘tiger’ and ‘iguana’. Thank you, crowd!

Recently, I’ve been thinking about how to apply the wisdom of the masses to my own driving. Could crowdsourcing improve my personal habits and techniques? Maybe. So I decided to pay special attention to my fellow drivers and see if I could learn anything from the entire licensed citizenry. Like Tesla’s fully self-driving system (always in beta testing), I’ll try to absorb their insights and experience to make my super-heavy car awesome. Here are some of the things I learned.

First, if you don’t know where you’re going, don’t worry. The car he crosses the lane like a two-ton divining stick, drive slowly. Then, instead of slamming on the brakes and continuing to the next side street or intersection, make a 16-point right turn there.

Speaking of intersections, everyone loves surprises, so don’t use your turn signal. And when the far right lane reaches a right turn or straight intersection, make sure you are going straight. That way the right red light crew behind you can relax and take a few minutes off from the intersection. The stress of steering a moving vehicle. They’ll probably be back there and thank you for your rest.

If you see someone preparing to parallel park, that is, pull up to an empty space and use the turn signals to indicate that you intend to back into that space, pull that person’s bumper over. Raise it straight up. Remember that nature hates a vacuum.

If you’re driving on a two-lane road with a 55 mph speed limit, turn at 47 mph (albeit gently). But as soon as I get into the passing zone, I speed up to 70. If someone still manages to pass you, then tailgate half a mile (0.5 miles). Then you’ll gradually return to 47 mph fantasies before the two-lane path annihilates your fragile ego.

When following at night, pull over slightly to the left of the vehicle in front. This way, the headlights can shine directly into the driver’s side mirror, giving everyone a lot of extra light. Remember, sharing is caring!

On highways, two lanes may merge into one lane. Well before the point where the pavement ends, other drivers may notice him forming a single line. These people are called suckers, and like Nitro Circus’ understudy he should take advantage of them by driving as far down the lane as possible, even if that means using two wheels. Don’t worry. Other drivers know that your time is invaluable and may even give you a friendly honk or a helping hand if you cut in the lead.

Eventually you will reach your destination and you will have to park. Don’t be afraid to drive for 30 minutes to avoid walking an extra 20 seconds in the process of finding a place. And when you come to a space marked with a C, ask yourself whether it represents a compact or a Chevrolet Silverado 3500 Duramax double. There is only one way to find out. Sandwiching a truck between a Geo Metro and a Mitsubishi Mirage G4. Then get off the sunroof, put on your Oakley, pat yourself on the back and enjoy another great driving episode.

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